The Worst Survivor Player Ever Project
I suppose I'm just gonna run a bunch of seasons, and whenever somebody wins a season they're taken out of the pool. Last person to never win is undoubtably the worst. Round One: Borneo Pagong Alina Wilson- The Dirt Squirrel (Nicaragua)- 1st Billy Garcia- The Lover (Cook Islands)- 12th Garrett Adelstein- The Poker Player Whose Strategy Was To Get Everyone To Show Them Their Cards (Cagayan)- 7th Jamie Newton- The Evil Bobby Jon (Guatemala)- 8th Matthew von Ertfelda- The Cweepy One (Amazon)- 4th Shawna Mitchell- The Cute Hostage (Amazon)- 3rd Stephanie LaGrossa- The One With The Determination (Palau, Guatemala, HvV)- 15th Sundra Oakley- The Heart (Cook Islands)- 2nd Tagi Brady Finta- The Cool FBI Agent (Vanuatu)- 11th Butch Lockley- Head Firewood Bitch (Amazon)- 6th Jessie Camacho- The Most Popular Survivor Ever (Africa)- 14th Josh Canfield- The Boring Abstinent Gay Christian (SJDS)- 13th Kathy Sleckman- CUH-RAZY KATHY!!!!! (Micro)- 9th Michelle Yi- The Asian Sweetheart (Fiji)- 5th Natalie White- Russell's Master (Samoa)- 10th Rudy Boesch- The Retired Navy SEAL (Borneo, ASS)- 16th Episode One- 'Tagi loses the first challenge. Butch, Rudy, and Kathy find themselves the early outsiders as the other, younger five people seem to be generally getting along. Josh, who emerges as the bland CP5 leader of the young people, decides to target Rudy because Butch does a ton of work around camp and he gets along fairly well with Kathy, while Rudy is physically weakest and a homophobe. Rudy goes home 6-2, as Kathy votes with the young people to keep herself safe. Rudy- Brady, Michelle, Josh, Jessie, Kathy, Natalie Michelle- Rudy, Butch '''Episode Two- '''At the challenge, Shawna just can't eat dem bugs, so Pagong loses. Jamie is on a mad revenge quest against Stephanie, who really nobody is liking. He pairs up with Garrett, who has also aligned with Shawna and Alina. Garrett decides now is time for a "big move" to take out Stephanie despite her strength and challenges, and the entire tribe eliminates Steph in a 7-1 vote. Stephanie- Garrett, Alina, Shawna, Matthew, Billy, Sundra, Jamie Billy- Stephanie '''Episode Three- '''Tagi loses due to being the overall physically weaker team. Kathy talks to Josh about potentially breaking up Jessie and Brady, who are kinda flirting. Josh is hesitant to the idea because he is boring and wants to stick with voting for the older Butch, but Michelle and Natalie are both willing to jump on board, and the team eliminates Jessie in a 4-3 vote. Jessie- Kathy, Butch, Michelle, Natalie Butch- Josh, Jessie, Brady '''Episode Four- '''Tagi loses the relay race again due to their physical worseness. Josh and Brady find themselves outsiders, but make their plea to be kept due to being the two strongest. Michelle and Natalie become the swing-pair between two pairs, and ultimately decide "Screw challenge strength" and take Josh out in a 4-2 vote. Josh- Michelle, Natalie, Kathy, Butch Kathy- Josh, Brady '''Episode Five- '''Brady puts in a really good individual performance as the rower, single-handedly winning for his tribe. On Pagong, Shawna is getting real cweeped out by Matthew, but Matthew has kinda become the third in the Garrett-Jamie patriarchy, despite his awkwardness. Those three are pretty deadset on taking out Billy, and strongarm the girls of the tribe into doing so, 6-1. Billy- Garrett, Jamie, Matthew, Shawna, Sundra, Alina Jamie- Billy '''Episode Six- '''The Tagi tribe loses again in the obstacle course. Brady tries to play up his position as the swing between two pairs, but thanks to Kathy's Survivor knowledge, the two pairs figure a merge is coming and want to go in as a solid four, and they vote Brady out 4-1. Brady- Kathy, Butch, Michelle, Natalie Kathy- Brady '''Episode Seven- '''At the merge challenge, Garrett emerges victorious. Alina, Sundra, and Shawna are tired of Jamie and Garrett's dictatorship, but Alina urges them to stick with the voting bloc for now so that they don't lose numbers later. The Pagongs vote for Natalie as a former winner, and the Tagis vote for Jamie as a big jerk. Natalie goes, 6-4. Natalie- Garrett, Jamie, Alina, Shawna, Matthew, Sundra Jamie- Butch, Kathy, Michelle, Natalie '''Episode Eight- '''Michelle wins the rope-thing race immunity. Kathy has begun going a BIT crazy again, and Butch's pre-existing friendship with Matthew leads him to integrate into the patriarchy alliance again. Kathy is voted out 7-2 because everyone's kinda worried about her mental state at this point. Kathy- Butch, Jamie, Garrett, Alina, Shawna, Matthew, Sundra Jamie- Michelle, Kathy '''Episode Nine- '''Alina wins the square puzzle game. The Pagong girls bring in Michelle, and they're ready to make this a solidly male vs female game. Shawna uses Matthew's crush on her to sway him and Butch to their side to eliminate the mad-with-power Jamie, 6-2. Jamie- Matthew, Alina, Shawna, Sundra, Butch, Michelle Michelle- Garrett, Jamie '''Episode Ten- '''Butch obviously wins the fire-making challenge. Garrett sees himself as all alone against an unavoidable 6-person bloc, and so he quits, wanting some chicken and vegetables. '''Episode Eleven- '''Michelle wins the endurance challenge. Butch is targeted as the only male Tagi left, and despite Matthew's efforts to protect, he is voted out, 4-2. Butch- Michelle, Alina, Shawna, Sundra Alina- Butch, Matthew '''Episode Twelve- '''Matthew wins the folklore race thing. With the obvious outsider immune, the original Pagong girls take out the only remaining Tagi, Michelle, 4-1. Michelle- Matthew, Alina, Sundra, Shawna Alina- Michelle '''Episode Thirteen- '''Alina wins fallen comrades, as the only person who was prepared for it. Matthew is unceremoniously eliminated by the three girls, 3-1. Matthew- Alina, Sundra, Shawna Sundra- Matthew Alina wins the final three endurance challenge, and brings Sundra with her, seeing Shawna as a bit more likable. '''Final Tribal Council-' '''Kathy '''votes for Alina, respecting her superior gameplay. '''Jamie '''votes for Sundra, bitter about Alina leading the movement to betray him. '''Garrett '''votes for Sundra, also pretty bitter. '''Butch '''votes for Alina, since she was a bit of a harder worker around camp. '''Michelle '''votes for Alina, who she was better friends with and played a better game. '''Matthew '''votes for Alina, because she reminded him most of Rob. '''Shawna '''votes for Sundra, who had been her buddy out there that whole time. Alina wins, 4-3! Round Two: Australian Outback '''Kucha Angie Layton- The Cookie Lover (Phillipinnes)- 2nd Gina Crews- Probst's OG Crush (Marq)- 8th Jaime Dugan- The Super Forced Villain (China)- 9th Jeremy Collins- The Bawston Fiyahfitah (SJDS)- 4th Keith Tollefson- The Boring Guy Whitney Cheated On Her Husband With (SP)- 7th Kim Mullen- The One So Useless They Considered Keeping A Guy Begging To Be Voted Out Over Her (Palau)- 15th Osten Taylor- The OG Quitter (PI)- 6th Peter Harkey- The Holey One (Marq)- 12th Ogakor Bubba Sampson- The One Who Sucks At Subtlety (Vanu)- 3rd David Samson- The Marlin's Owner (Cagayan)- 10th Drew Christy- Basically, The Badass (SJDS)- 13th Kelly Goldsmith- The OG Snarky Girl (Africa)- 14th Linda Spencer- Daughter Africa (Africa)- 11th Paloma Soto-Castillo- The Anti-Ace Machine (Gabon)- 5th Silas Gaither- The Smug Douche (Africa)- 16th Stephannie Favor- The Unremarkable One Who Likes Mashed Potatoes And Gravy (CI)- 1st Episode One- '''Kucha wins, being physically stronger. Silas tries to form an Africa alliance with Linda and Kelly, but they both just kinda hate him. Drew and Silas become fast friends though. Paloma absolutely despises the two of them. Bubba and David also pair up, but really only out of necessity. Stephannie wants mashed potatoes. Everyone's pretty much mutual depisal of the two young men unites them against them, and the slightly more-intelligent/less-athletic Silas is eliminated 6-2. Silas- David, Bubba, Kelly, Linda, Paloma, Stephannie Linda- Silas, Drew '''Episode Two- '''Osten absolutely just CANNOT eat a cow brain. He loses for Kucha. Kim and Angie have isolated themselves, searching for cookies together; Angie because she just really wanted some, Kim to avoid working. Jeremy forms a solid majority with Keith, Jaime, and Gina, bringing in Osten as a fourth despite some protests. Peter is weirding everyone out, and he thinks he's in with Jeremy and Keith, but he SO isn't. The majority alliance and Peter vote Kim out, cuz damn she sucks. Kim- Peter, Jeremy, Keith, Gina, Jaime, Osten Osten- Kim Peter- Angie '''Episode Three- '''Kucha wins the obstacle course things because Bubba/Linda slow down them Ogakors. David and Bubba reluctantly align with Drew, fearing an all-female alliance. Kelly and Paloma are sort of over Linda, but Stephannie remains close with her. Kelly and Paloma decide to vote against Linda rather than the planned Drew, they try to get Stephannie with them, but she tells Linda. She and Linda then team up with the men to take Kelly out. Kelly- David, Linda, Bubba, Stephannie, Drew Linda- Kelly, Paloma '''Episode Four- '''Kucha wins the trivia challenge. Drew has gotten way too cocky after getting his way in a single vote, so despite Paloma being pretty bitchy at everyone for taking out her buddy, Drew is taken out by the newly minted solid four of Linda, Bubba, Stephannie, and David. Drew- David, Linda, Bubba, Stephannie Linda- Paloma Paloma- Drew '''Episode Five- '''Ogakor wins the maze challenge because the tribe with fewer members has an unfair advantage in that challenge. Angie has been snuggling up to Osten, since she had no real other options. Peter sees this and wants to make a big move with Jeremy and Keith, but they take what he says with a grain of salt. Peter is unanimously voted out for playing too hard and being too weird. Peter- Jeremy, Keith, Jaime, Gina, Angie, Osten Angie- Peter '''Episode Six- '''Kucha wins the leading the blind challenge thing (yes I know that was a reward challenge merppp). Paloma becomes a swing vote between David and Bubba and Stephannie and Linda. She decides she hates Linda more than David, and sides with the guys, for now. Linda- David, Bubba, Paloma David- Linda, Stephannie '''Episode Seven- '''The merge arrives, and Paloma uses her sheer bitchy will power to win the endurance comp. The solid Kucha six sticks together and picks off David, who they see as the brain of the Ogakor operation. They are joined by Paloma, who still hates all the Ogakors. David- Stephannie, Paloma, Jeremy, Keith, Jaime, Gina, Angie, Osten Keith- Bubba, David '''Episode Eight- '''Jeremy wins the square-game challenge. Seeing the remaining former Ogakor as pretty useless, Jeremy and Keith decide it's time to take out a legitimate competitor. They target Jaime for her on-point social game, and are joined by the Osten-Angie contingent and the former Ogakor. Jaime is voted out 7-2, blindsiding both her and her friend Gina. Jaime- Jeremy, Angie, Osten, Keith, Bubba, Stephannie, Paloma Bubba- Gina, Jaime '''Episode Nine- '''Jeremy wins the balance battle thingy. Gina is feeling pretty betrayed and alone, but manages to keep on a happy face. She goes to the former Ogakor and has planned an upheaval of Jeremy. Jeremy wins immunity, so they go for his lietenant Keith, instead. However, Paloma decides to ruin this plan and runs to her new friend Angie and tells, and this all leads to the ouster of Gina, 5-3. Gina- Jeremy, Angie, Osten, Keith, Paloma Keith- Bubba, Stephannie, Gina '''Episode Ten- '''Ironically the firefighter wins the fire-making challenge. Paloma and Angie form a final three including Osten, and Paloma decides she's tired of Keith's douchiness. The three of them wildly vote for Keith, knocking him out according to absolutely nobody's plans, 3-2-2. Keith- Angie, Osten, Paloma Stephannie- Keith, Jeremy Paloma- Stephannie, Bubba '''Episode Eleven- '''The camp is flooded, and Osten's temple is closed. He quits the game. '''Episode Twelve- '''Bubba shockingly wins the answering questions about the story challenge. Everyone si pretty collectively done with Paloma's unpredictability, and she goes 3-2. Paloma- Jeremy, Stephannie, Bubba Stephannie- Angie, Paloma '''Episode Thirteen- '''Bubba also wins the memory challenge. Huh. Jeremy is voted out unanimously as the most obvious threat to win. Jeremy- Stephannie, Bubba, Angie Stephannie- Jeremy '''Episode Fourteen- '''Stephannie wins the fallen comrades challenge. She brings Angie to the final two because she feels she'll get no respect from the jurors. '''Final Tribal Council Jaime '''votes for Stephannie cuz they got along decent and she admires her tenacity. '''Gina '''votes for Stephannie cuz Angie annoyed her the WHOLEEEEE time out there and she was briefly aligned with Stephannie. '''Keith '''votes for Stephannie cuz he's angry about his elimination. '''Osten '''votes for Angie cuz they cuddled. '''Paloma '''votes for Angie cuz they were friends and her irrational Ogakor-hate. '''Jeremy '''votes for Stephannie cuz at least everything she did made sense. '''Bubba '''votes for Stephannie cuz they were longtime allies. Stephannie wins 5-2! Round Three: Africa '''Boran Alexis Maxwell- The Twerker (Cagayan)- 6th Boo Bernis- The Construction Worker (Furrealzies) (Fiji)- 8th Erica Durosseau- The Yelly Asian-Hater (Fiji) Ethan Zohn- The Perfect Guy (Africa, ASS) Malcolm Freberg- The Flashy Player (Phillippines, Caramoan)- 7th Randy Bailey- The Bitter Old Man (Gabon, HvV)- 15th Sally Schumann- The Queen of Knee Socks (Panama) Sherri Biethman- Sandra Bullock (Caramoan)- 14th Samburu Cindy Hall- The Nice Zoologist Lady (Guat) Dolly Neely- The Indecisive Goat Farmer (Vanu)- 9th Jenna Morasca- The Hot Model (Amazon)- 10th Mike Borassi- Pointless Weight Loss (Samoa)- 16th Rory Freeman- The One With Class (Vanu)- 13th Sean Rector- The Black Panther (Marq)- 11th Teresa Cooper- T-Bird (Africa)- 12th Woo Hwang- The Ninja Warrior (Cagayan) Episode One-''' Boran wins because they is STRONGER. On Samburu, Rory and Sean pair up as the only brothers around. Sean also brings Woo in, who he gets along with despite being thousands of times more complex. The tribe unanimously agrees to get rid of Mike, who's just too fat and slow to keep. Mike- Sean, Teresa, Woo, Rory, Jenna, Dolly, Cindy Jenna- Mike 'Episode Two- '''Sherri can't be a cow vampire, Boran loses. Ethan, Malcolm, and Boo form a threesome. Sally and Alexis are also brought in, leaving Randy, Erica, and Sherri as outsiders. Randy is being a complete asshat to everyone, so they vote him out 7-1. Randy- Erica, Sherri, Malcolm, Alexis, Ethan, Boo, Sally Sally- Randy '''Episode Three- '''Samburu wins the signal challenge because it is rigged to help the weaker tribe. Sherri and Erica form a pair out of desperation, Sherri claiming she's going to make Erica "her Shamar". Sadly, this invites racial comparisons and Sherri is voted out for her controversial remarks. Sherri- Malcolm, Alexis, Boo, Sally, Ethan, Erica Malcolm- Sherri '''Episode Four- '''The Borans win the camp-building because they have a construction guy on the task. The men of Samburu fear being picked off, and they all decide to go for Cindy, who they percieve as the weakest. They try to get Dolly on their side. Dolly has trouble deciding, however. She flips a coin and sticks with the women, and votes Rory out. Rory- Cindy, Teresa, Dolly, Jenna Cindy- Sean, Rory, Woo '''Episode Five- ''Tis a swap! The tribes are asked to send their three strongest competitors: Boran send Boo, Ethan, and Malcolm, while Samburu sends Woo, Sean, and Teresa. '''New Boran Woo, Sean, Teresa, Alexis, Sally, Erica New Samburu Malcolm, Ethan, Boo, Dolly, Jenna, Cindy New Samburu wins the puzzle challenge due to the combined intelligence of Malcolm, Ethan, and Cindy. At New Boran, Woo and Alexis use their loose collections to combine their pairs, bringing in Sean and Sally respectably. Teresa and Erica are the outsiders, and Teresa is eliminated due to being a bigger threat. Teresa- Sean, Woo, Alexis, Sally Sally- Erica Sean- Teresa 'Episode Six- '''New Samburu wins the shooting stuff at stuff challenge as well. Alexis is smart enough to pick Erica up as a third to her and Sally, and the three of them take out Sean. Sean- Erica, Sally, Alexis Erica- Sean, Woo '''Episode Seven- '''The merge is afoot. Original Boran members seem set to reunite against the minority of Samburus. And they do, uneventfully taking out Jenna due to Ethan being kinda still sad about their breakup, along with a desperate-feeling Woo, 7-3. Jenna- Ethan, Woo, Boo, Sally, Alexis, Malcolm, Erica Ethan- Jenna, Cindy, Dolly '''Episode Eight- '''Malcolm and Alexis form a final two deal, and Malcolm decides it's time to make a move on Ethan. He gathers his forces in Woo, Erica, and Alexis' partner Sally, but Ethan wins a clutch immunity; one he won back in the original Africa. Malcolm and Alexis stick to the plan and uneventfully eliminate Dolly, 7-2. Dolly- Ethan, Woo, Boo, Sally, Alexis, Malcolm, Erica Malcolm- Cindy, Dolly '''Episode Nine- '''Cindy is the only member of her alliance left, and Ethan reaches out to her and gains her as an ally. He is preparing to betray Malcolm, while simultaneously Malcolm is preparing to betray Ethan. Erica finds herself in the middle, with Ethan having Boo and Cindy, and Malcolm having Alexis, Sally, and Woo. Ethan wins another clutch immunity in the firemaking contest, and Erica decides to go with Malcolm's group, who take out Boo, Ethan's right-hand man. Boo- Malcolm, Erica, Sally, Alexis, Woo Malcolm- Ethan, Cindy, Boo '''Episode Ten- '''Ethan wins a third immunity in a row, because he's seen all these damn challenges before, and that's especially helpful with the folklore challenge. Cindy seems like the easy next target, but Alexis decides it's time to move against Malcolm, so she and Sally flip over to Ethan and Cindy to take Malcolm out, 4-3. Malcolm- Sally, Alexis, Ethan, Cindy Cindy- Malcolm, Woo, Erica '''Episode Eleven- '''Woo uses ninja skills to break all the pots in the pot challenge. Since nobody feels in any way threatened by Erica, Ethan and Alexis both make separate pleas to Woo, and Woo decides to go with Ethan, who hadn't betrayed his trust yet, and they take Alexis out, 4-2. Alexis- Ethan, Woo, Erica, Cindy Ethan- Alexis, Sally '''Episode Twelve- '''In the past challenges obstacle course, Ethan wins because, well, with his challenge dominance, that just makes sense. Sally is picked off, 4-1. Sally- Ethan, Woo, Erica, Cindy Erica- Sally '''Episode Thirteen- '''Cindy wins the fallen comrades challenge because of dat social game. Erica is voted out 3-1 because she's basically just been floating this whole time anyway. Erica- Woo, Ethan, Cindy Woo- Erica Woo wins the final endurance challenge. He brings Ethan, who he formed an honorable bond with (familiar mistake, much? Nah, he'd lose either way tbh) '''Final Tribal Council-' '''Dolly '''votes for... um... she has trouble deciding... but Woo, because he was nice :). '''Boo '''votes for Ethan, because they were partners and stuff. '''Malcolm '''votes for Ethan because he respects gameplay. '''Alexis '''votes for Ethan cuz the same thing. '''Sally '''votes for Ethan cuz well, he obviously deserves to win. '''Erica '''votes for Ethan because she hates Asian people. '''Cindy '''votes for Ethan because they were fairly tight. Ethan wins 6-1!